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User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Max Caulfield vs Lee Everett. Rap Battle
go get a load of monstrous rap battles busted over your faces it's been like a year heya. Here's the battle that you didn't know you were hyped for that I've been off-and-on mentioning every now and then for the last two months. Before we get started with details and all that, huuuuge shout-out to ERBofSmoshery for writing as the Walking Dead side. somehow, this is his first guest appearance, which blows my mind bc he's really, really good. So props to him on his work. Smoshery was recruited for this battle for two connected reasons, 1. I knew he was really good and liked the Walking Dead and 2. this battle features heavy themes regarding Life is Strange, a game I am all-too-obsessed with so it wouldn't be fair without his help. That being said, I have of course wanted to use Life is Strange in something for a looong time (not including my bad erbohorror story) and since Max is gonna be making a bunch of appearances in the near future, figured I'd get this out while I'm ahead or something like that. Shout-out to Hippie Rat, he beat me to the LiS battle thing twice, as well as Max vs Lee technically. Also, a more quiet shout-out to Wonder, Iamthelegion and TKandMit, all of which were consulted about the original idea for this battle but got dropped once I changed plans. The battle you're seeing today is really just one version of the twenty different ones we went through, so I hope it lives up to any hopes you might have. Anyways, all out of blabbering to do, the main protagonist of TellTale's the Walking Dead video game, Lee Everett, alongside his youthful companion, Clementine, rap against the partners in time from DONTNOD's "Life is Strange," Max Caulfield and Chloe Price, to see who's the better duo from a choice-based supernatural-themed video game with heavy influence on the impact of the choices you make, with a final choice that makes you ultimately question your morals big time. Had to word that to avoid some spoilers, but reader beware, this battle contains heavy spoilers to both "The Walking Dead" and "Life is Strange." Good luck, and hope you enjoy. shaka brah. Beat the beat's a little important for this one, jsyk. you do you. Intro My powers might not last. That's okay, we will. EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! VS! BEGIN! The Battle Lee & Clementine: The telltale wail of a verbal impale, from a Telle-tale will soon be unveiled When Telltale tells the tale of Chloe and Max's Hearts becoming a Tell-Tale! Lee, we're on their tail! This freaky geek and flunked punk can't impact On our survival stacks of caps and gats! Now let's hope they'll remember that! Every day's our lasting nightmare, but there's No Going Back to rethink And you've got all the time in the world! Yet still No Time Left for your lip-sync! You're too nosey, Max-ter Roshi! Getting nosebleeds from your nosy clutches Then there's Chloe who's off the rails and can't even handle her Ashton Krutches! Always taking a shot at her family; lies, accusations are constantly hurled She’s got a drugged-up mind in a Vortex like it's a night at the End of the World! No rewinds will save you this time! So rhyme and decide your fate like a talker Go back to your alternate world; the junky junkie will never become a Walker! Max & Chloe Check your radars; a storm is coming to snap a hobo like a photo Even Brooke is less prone to Drone but you’re not even in the show, bro! What kind of murderer can’t kill a microphone? Woah, Chlo, that’s a low blow! So? Let's dump his dumb ass in the trash like we got the rights to Michonne! (Oh!) The Price is Right when she steps to fight! No Strife when I wreck the mic, You’re an otter in the water of our flow, so drink up, it’s got electrolytes It's an Everyday Hero contest and you’re not fit to rock in our Mosh Pit And Walking Dead Men don’t TellTales so Silence Is a Valid Option! We’ll knock you off the rail-roadway, got mo’ to showcase when we Go Ape, So relocate with your stowaway ‘fore I drink Simpson’s flow away like O.J. Got all the time in the world but none left to waste against Prick Grimes and Ellie, ‘Cause someone who’s wife has left him should know when to go fuck himselfie! Lee & Clementine: Cap it, phoney Holden! These childish pirating whacks couldn’t steal these tracks! I got my bite from Sam, and you got your fluffy bunny ass from little old Max! This bitch rhymes slow like her game, her flow is broke and she's left immobilised While Mad Max Factor's looking pasty like she's the one who's been Polar-ized! Five years of silence and violent defiance; right off the Bat, Max went off foreign Then the Heisenberg of Blackwell ended the chemistry faster than Warren! Don’t have a Maxi-Paddy with daddy ‘cause he ditched quick with smoke and flames You’re framed in shame, don’t need a car to end this Price’s fucking game! There's death Around Every Corner, so like your choices, your lives won't matter in this But it's ironic, rip-offs of the Butterfly Effect couldn't rap their way out of a Chrysalis! You'll get fucked like Camera Porn if you stay in our Dark Room, so act faithful; Turn back and leave Chloe Amid the Ruins so she can fuck off back to Rachel! ... ... ... ... ...you don't know who the FUCK I am, or WHO you're messing around with! ...where'd you get that? What are you doing? Come on, put that thing down! Don't... EVER... tell me what to do! I am so SICK... of people trying... to CONTROL me! ... Max Caulfield: And with a Sound of Thunder, the suburbs thrive while the lover dies Another butterfly flutters by, easier to snuff than your brothers life More infectious than how your mother died, and the only cure is an overdose Need no totem tropes or horoscopes to know you’d be better off comatose I ripped timelines and split the skylines, but the Priceless had to die? Why? With great power comes great bullshit, and you can’t rewind your crime’s fines So Remember Me? Max overshadows twisted tracks with eclipsing raps To drop an apocalypse provoking thoughts of which Consequences your Actions have The Bay is saved for another day, while even the Saints think you’re distasteful You’re just a hatred motivated contagion; I’m an Arcadian Guardian Angel Spoiler Alert; Pompidou gets turned to zombie food and Clem will remember The trigger finger in that cold cellar that put Wanna-Bigby down like Old Yeller Announcer: WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF... Forever. ...HISTORY. Rap Meanings Outro Who won? Lee & Clementine Max & Chloe Category:Blog posts